Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer

[Hash1]

It is donated to the melting ice of the north and south pole, and icebergs, through the clubhouse's charity organization to help the polar bears (not the penguins though). What they don't know is that this intended solution is just another problem: more ice will be there to melt, and the sea level will get higher and higher. But anyways, who cares? Any human intent at solving an environmental problem is not a solution to disaster, it just postpones it.

Chip dies a painful death about 3000 times a day.. Why has nobody shed a tear for him yet?

[Gavin]

It gets judged by the ice-god. If it's good ice, it gets to stay as ice for eternity in the icy-cold heaven. If it's bad ice, it goes to the fiery pits of hell where it vaporises into steam and disappears.

Why hasn't Chip learned to swim after all this time? And why does he need a pair of flippers to cross a little square pool of water he could jump or even step across?

[Gavin]

Whoops missed Hash's post.

Noone sheds a tear for Chip when he dies, but Melinda and all the other girls think it's really hot that he lives such a dangerous lifestyle with constant risk of death. Did you really think all this time Chip signed up to the clubhouse just because he liked solving puzzles? Now you know.

[ncrecc]

Chip can swim just fine, but if he does then the other kids will see his wet pants and mock him for peeing himself. If he has the flippers, he can show them the flippers to prove he was swimming, but if he doesn't have the flippers he drowns himself on contact with water to avoid suffering such a humiliating fate. (Oh, and he can't step over one-tile pools of water because he... doesn't like to. The same way he doesn't like to tear down the chip socket with his bare hands before finding all the chips.)

Why do people ask me where I can see myself in 24 days?

[Hash1]

Sorry to say, but it's because they don't like who you are today, so they wanna know about the near future you, to know if you will have changed for the better, to decide if they want to keep spending time with you or not. In other words, it's a discreet way to say that they dislike you. If you're not a people pleaser, though, you shouldn't care.

Wouldn't it be weird if, in real life, we kept things behind rows of several locked doors?

[ncrecc]

Yes. Thankfully, in real life we keep things behind rows of at least twenty locked doors - much higher than "several". I had to open a hundred and five doors to get on my computer and write this reply, and six more to press my "backspace" key when I made a typo. And once I'm done typing my question, I have to shut them all.

Why hasn't Bridgestone taken advantage of owning Chip's Challenge by making a series of religious cartoons where Chip and Melinda get up to wacky hijinks while studying the Bible?

[Hash1]

Several reasons: because there are tanks in Chip's Challenge, because there are bombs in Chip's Challenge, because they're afraid someone might make a levelset with the number of the beast amount of levels, because they're afraid someone might make a level with the walls forming an inverted cross, because they think MS teeth are demon spawns, and because water in Chip's Challenge is normal water and not holy water.

Well, most of this is if the cartoons were based on the game (the wacky hijinks being clubhouse/puzzle related) while also being religion related. If they did things non clubhouse/puzzle related, plus no mention whatsoever of the clubhouse/puzzle life, that would just be odd and unconsiderate ("let's just take these two popular characters, and force them into situations that have nothing to do with what they originally did, for our own benefit"). But then again, capitalism.

If they did proceed to making this series of cartoons, though, it's something only a few bible-study centers would be interested in, plus probably a few of us for the laughs. Once it gets old, it'll probably be forgotten forever or eventually find its way to YouTube and then there will be hilarious YouTube poops of it.

This is not a rant against religion, I just don't imagine the idea working. I imagine the whole thing to be seen by the public (christian or not) as cheesy (there are probably better things to turn into a christian cartoon, like Sonic the Hedgehog, for example). The good thing though, is that those souls that watch the cartoons will be exposed to Chip's Challenge, and maybe we'll have two or three more members to talk to/ play their levels.

Why are we so drawn to this thread? It's the only thread getting (besides the High Scores threads) a stable flow of posts.

[Gavin]

Because the content of this thread is very deep and spiritual. One day this thread will be made into a holy book for Chipsters to read whist they worship. This game is our religion.

If Chip and Melinda prayed, technically they should be praying to Chuck because Chuck is their creator, right?

[ncrecc]

Yes. In the Chuck Sommerville Cinematic Universe, not only is Chuck god, but Chuck is also the guy who got nailed to a cross. He's smugly waiting for Bridgestone to realize this and discard ownership of the Chip's Challenge trademark out of disgust.

If Chip is such a tool, how come the red thief doesn't confiscate him?

[random 8]

Because that's the blue thief's job, duh.

Why can't i teach an old frog new tricks?